i think...my life and pryorittees are mess up

okay i've been thinking about tonites youth group service...well i have been sorta thinking about this since sunday morning....but i think well i know my life is sorta messed up....but now i am begining to think that also my pryorittees are just as messed up...why do i say this....well becasue in a way i put a lot of things before God, before devotions, and prayer....I find it pretty challenging to have to sit and read my Bible for probably less than 30 mins and well prayer time that's kinda when i remember to do it...:( i know that's not the greatest thing....but then i can find my self spending 8 or 9 hours or more on the computer and well 4 or more hours playing video games... than in it self it kinda amazing when i actually stop to think about it....and those times when i find it hard to concentrate and read my Bible...well my mind can find and think of TONS of ways to seek revenge and ways to hurts those who have hurt me....i don't know why this is so easy but then so hard for me to take time and read my Bible but I guess for some reason that's just me...Why do i spend so much time on the internet/computer and video games....well I guess that is just a way that i ahve learned to "block" out the world...does it help....i don't know....but it's a way i can sorta avoid people...well at least in contact....and I can just sorta be by myself....casue usually when i am i don't get hurt.....unless i do it to myself and that's a differnet topic....okay well yeah not that too many of you really care about all this but yeah....sometimes i think that people were jsut ment to hurt you and not be able to ever trust....well okay that's not entirely true....there are a few peopel in my life that are for me no matter what and that they love me and are always there for me....but sometimes that's still hard casue well out of peopel i know those that i can really trust is only a very small percentage...maybe then again i jsut don't give people enough credit...but that is really hard to do when some people set out to hurt you....and then you sorta start just distrusting everyone.....okay well that's all i have for now...