interresting though...on the previous Bible story...

an interesting though...okay i've been thinking a lot...okay may come as a surprize to some of you but anyways...back to the last blog i wrote...the one about the dude from the bible...okay well anyways it goes kinda like back to our message we had last nite in youth...about how much is God worth to you...so yeah God was worth a lot to this dude...cuz yeah even though it was hard for him to keep his promise he still did...cuz he loved God enough to keep his word...so yeah intereting though i think...and also God gave up his only Son...so I guess it wasn't totally unfair...cuz yeah I guess he wasn't exactly being mean to him cuz he knew how he felt...or at least pretty sure...so yeah...maybe it wasn't all that unfair...okay that's my new thoughts...anyways gotta go and work on one of my other projects...hopefully i can come up with something to write about...

Jephthah...some dude in the Old Testiment

okay i was listening to Adventures in Odssey today on the way to school...okay had no idea that this was a real for sure Bible story...but i guess it was...okay this seems like a really sad and really unfair ending...okay first Jephthah is only a half brother to his other brothers...so after his dad dies then the brothers kick him out and want nothing to do with him...well then several years later when they need help they decide to go ask Jephthah for help...he says i'll help you if you make me judge...they agree...Jephthah also makes a vow to God saying if you help me win this battle then when I get home I will sacricice what ever comes out my door to greet me...so yeah he wins the battle...and on his way home...and his daughter comes out to greet him...okay yeah so he kills her...it seems so unfair...the dude was a Christian and all but the out come seems totally unfair...how could God do that to him...didn't he care that that was his only daughter...how could he of had him sacrifice his only daughter...okay that's all...but what a rip off for that poor guy...like happy and all he won but he ends up losing his only daughter...and that's sad...all right that's all my thoughts for that Bible story...

new realization...that came from seeing the edge of eternity

okay so last nite my youth group went to watch the edge of eternity. okay if you don't know what that is, it is a dramatized play that shows many different real life sceans and then shows the person dying and then when they get to the gates of heaven. and depending on if they had really asked Jesus into there hearts depended on if they got into heaven. okay i think the first scean that really made me think was the first scean that they did. but i'll come back to that one later. but the scean that made me ralize something new was the abortion/husband and wife scean.

okay what happended in it. it started out with the wife talking to her friend telling her that she was going to have a baby and that she was going to have an abortion. she rationnalizes why it is okay and all. but she hasn't been honest with her husband and told him that she had a cyst and had to get it removed. well he comes in and her friend leaves. he begins talking to her. asking her to go to church with him. she is very resistent to it all. he tells her about God and she doesn't need it. so we have a christian husband a non christian wife and soon to be aborted baby. well then he takes her to her doctors for her procedure. as he is waiting a nurse comes out to tell him that there were some sereious complications that happend during his wife's abortion. he is shocked. he siad no she wasn't going in for an abortion. the nurse said again yes she did. she was pregnent and didn't want the baby. the news surprized the husband so much that he died from a heartattack or something. Okay so they both are at heaven's gates at the same time. they know where they are at. she asks the angel if her name is in the book of life. he siad you heard about me and had every opportuinty to accpet me but you didn't so i don't not know you depart from me. so the devil and the demos came out and took her. then her husband was yelling a screaming the whole time as his wife was taken. After that he asks the angel if his name is in the book. it is. Jesus comes out of heaven carrieg a little baby and hands the dad his baby girl.

okay now for why this made me really stop and think was this. okay i am being told often by my youth pastor and his wife and my best friend and others that it does matter who you marry. like you are not to be unequally yoked with another person. oaky this never really made all that much sence to me. i jsut though so what if u really do love the person. okay but seeing this jsut really made me stop and think. cuz yeah if you do marry someone that isn't a christian and something happens and you both die then you will be separated eternally. it would be so hard to see that person go to hell. i don't know maybe that all sounded really stupid and dumb. it is now that i am writting it all. but i don't know some how it all makes perfect sence to me. i know in heaven it will be happy an no crying and all but some how it would still be so hard to see that happen. okay yeah that are my thoughts. i'm sorry if they sound really stupid or are totally wrong.

world changers

We are ALL called to change our world!
What is a world changer? 3 things that defines a world changer.
~ live like aliens - 1 peter 2:11
we can live life with a hope and a purpose. we must not live how the world wants us to live. we have to live counter-culture. we can't be living in two worlds. we can't severve two masters. we must care about the things God does.
~ people who know God
the same relationship that we have with our best friend we need to have that with God too. we are made in God's likeness becasue we have a soul. the best thing we have to boast about is our relationship with God. when we walk with God his desires become our desires. life is SO much better when we walk with God.
~ live with eternal signifinance - 2 corinthians 5:10
we all give an account for everything we have said and done.



well this was one of the morning messages. it was really good. i want to be a world changer. i want to make a postive diffenence on my world. but i also think each step is really hard. and at times it seems almost impossible. but yeah. okay well it was good. i have made a commitment to be a world changer. i guess i'll see how long that lasts. hopefully it will last but i don't knwo.

puzzel pieces

Have you ever put a puzzle together before? I'm sure all of us have put a puzzle together once in our lives. But have you ever tried to put a puzzle together without looking at the picture of what the end result will be? This would be very challenging and also impossible. Now have you ever tried putting a puzzle together without looking at the end picture but have someone right beside you telling you when to place each puzzle piece? Also have you seen the puzzles that have the overall main picture but within that picture are several smaller pictures? Okay, yes, this may sound like a bit random and weird introduction but stay with me I do have a point that I am trying to reach. All right with that much said it occurred to me that life is like a puzzle. Why do I say this? Well glad you asked. I say this because God has made each of us a puzzle piece to fit inside his puzzle. Just as each puzzle piece in the puzzle box has a certain place so do each one of us. It may not be apparent as to where we fit but we all do. Then also each one of us in life has out own puzzle in life to complete. Which now this brings me back to the last few questions I asked in my introduction. Okay when we try to go through life on our own it is similar to when we are trying to put a puzzle together without seeing or knowing what the puzzle looks like. So as things come our way, both the good and the bad, we don't know how they fit in our lives because we are trying to put our puzzle together on our own. But we need to allow God to be the person telling us where each puzzle piece goes and just trust him to know where each one fits in and trust him that all the puzzle pieces he gives us will all end up fitting perfectly. God isn't going to give us all our puzzle pieces at once he will probably only give us one or two at a time. And only seeing one or two puzzle pieces at a time isn't going to seem like much and may seem very confusing and he may even give us a puzzle piece that at that moment doesn't connect to anything. But eventually at one point it will. We just have to trust Him. But as we start getting more and more of our puzzle pieces pervious puzzle pieces we have gotten are going to make more sense. And in the end we are going to be left with a very beautiful puzzle. Okay I'm sorry if this seems very confusing and stupid comparison but yeah anyways that's what is in my head now.

i'm back

okay well not that any one really reads my blogs i write...but i am back...something happened to my computer...it is all fixed now...but there were a few sites that jsut would never load...but now after doing a couple things that all seems fixed now...so i'll be back to blogging now...okay well check back for new blogs...

youth group tonite...

wow youth group was cool tonite…we had our final week of our series for “spring training”…it was a lot of fun…we started of the series with a breakout session and then ended it with one too…this one we have been reading the book of John for the past week weeks and then tonite we quizzed over it…it was a lot of fun……my team team won and we had 410 points…..and I ened up quizzing out…..which means I got 3 questionos in a row so I had to then sit out……the one thing I liked better about this version of bible quiz was that I could buzz in before the question was finished and still answer the question but did have to finish the question word for word well we didn’t have to finish the question at all….for a couple of the question I wish I could have contested one of the answers but oh well…..it was all for fun and I had fun doing it…..i have even learned some things in these past few weeks……it has been fun these past 5 or 6 weeks while we was doing the series “spring training”…..then pastor bob taked after our game of bible quzzing…and then had a really cool and awesome time of praying and worshiping or yeah something like that it was cool…..i could really feel God’s presence there…….and then we ate ice cream…..well they did……I didn’t I just ate some of the toppings but still ended up getting pretty icky feeling…..so that wasn’t cool……okay so that was my nite at yotuh group tonite…..….

i'm have too mcuh energy...

geeeeee.........i think i have had too much sugar today cuz i'm really really hyper and have an abundance of energy.......well i think it's too mcuh sugar and not taking my stuff for ADHD......oh well yeah.......i have too mcuh energy right now.......and have also had a hard time listing and doing what i'm told to do......so maybe i should lay off all the sugar or take my stuff for ADHD or possibly maybe both........oh well......i'm not the least bit sleepy so i think after i get done off of here i'll go and read my Bible and pray........okay that's all i have to say right now......

since Jesus was a teacher he may have heard this...

Then Jesus took his disciples up to the mountain and gathering themaround him, taught them saying:

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven...
Blessed are the meek...
Blessed are the merciful...
Blessed are they who thirst for justice...
Blessed are you when persecuted...
Blessed are you who suffer...
Be glad and rejoice, for your reward is great in heaven.

Then Simon Peter said. "are we supposed to know this?"
And Andrew said, "do we have to write this down?"
And James said, "do we have to show our work?"
And Phillip said, "may i go to the bathroom?"
And Bartholemew said, "do we have to turn this in?"
And John said, "the other disciples didn't have to learn this."
And Matthew said, " I don't have any paper."And Thomas said, "will we have a test on this?"
And Judas said, "what does this have to do with real life?"

Then one of the Pharaisees who was present asked to see Jesus' lessonplan and inquired of Jesus, "where is your anticipatory set and yourobjectives in the cognitive domain?"

And Jesus wept.

today was a good day...

well anyways church was good today...here was my day...i got there really really cuz of worship team practice then we had sunday school classes and then we had church...well Pastor Bob Williard talked about worship...he compared it to a Nascar Fan...it was quite well done...and it was really good....sry there are no notes...i didn't have a pen or paper...anyways...if ican remmeber all of it then i'll post it...anyways then sunday nite was cool too...Pastor Al's wife Julie talked for the evening service...she talked about Praiseing God in the Storm...it was also very good and helped a lot...yeah again didn't have paper or a pen but i wish i had...and ways even though Pastor Al didn't preach church was still really good and i liked it...although i can't wait till next Sunday when Pastor Al is back...oh and this sunday was cool too cuz bryan (he's my youth pastor there) is back from is missions trip so i got to see him and talk to him...and that was cool too...okay well that's all for now...

3 things

3 things...
all right there are three main things that come between me and God...these three things would be the computer/internet, video games, and TV...i find that i will place these things before spending time with God...so therefore technecally God considers that an idol...and God has lots of stuff to say about that in the Bible...so know really knowing this I must try to change that...cause knowing something is wrong and not changing is sin...so for the next month I am going to watch no TV or movies or things like that...and in those hours or at least part of that time when I'd normally be watching TV i am going to spend time reading my Bible and praying...and then the next month I'll do the same thing with video games and then computer/internet...and i will try to not fill in those time with more of the other two things...this is my plan as of right now...i'm writing this for you all to see so maybe you can keep me accountable as to how I'm doing...so until June 30 I will not be watching any TV...in a way I think this may be very hard but it'll be worth it...okay well i'll post to how it is going...okay that's all for now...oh and also at 10pm I'll actually be reading my Bible...I plan on doing some other times as well but for sure at 10 each nite...so from now on i might be on till 10 and then again at 11 or so...okay well that's all for now...

God's Mother's Day Card

God's Mother's Day card is the Bible. It is a card from God to mothers. And it is not jsut for mom's, it is for everyone. There are 6 promises for mothers and for all of us found in the Word of God. Promise Number 1: You have a promise from God when you feel discouraged! Mom's need a lot of encouragement. If you are a mom or believer this is God's promise to you written in your card Isaiah chapter 40:28 When you feel like giveing up DON'T God understands where we are at. Be encourage God is promises to walk with us. Isaiah 41:10 To walk around like we are always up...DON'T do that...jsut be real...He promises to be with us. Promise Number 2: God promises to be with us when we feel angry. Ephesians 4:26-27 Be angry but do not sin. It is okay to be angry but we must not loose control. God says it's okay to be angry at times but don't stay angry. It is not sin to be angry it's only sin when we loose it. Ephesians 4:30-32 When we feel angry open up the word. Do not let anger control us. Allow God to control our anger. Promise Number 3: God will be with you when you need his help. Proverbs 3:5 God is always ready to help us. Psalms 32:8, 46:1. 27:14, Phillipians 4:19, Glations 6:9 God is enough we don't need anything else. When we feel we can't handle things or are alone turn to God he will help us and be there. Promise Number 4: God says he is there when we ARE alone. John 14:16 1 Chronicals 28:20 God will not fail us or forget us. Sometimes we walk together and alone. But even when we are "alone" really we aren't God is right there with us. In our lowest times and hardest tiems God is still there. We can always trust God. When we feel lonly open up the word. Promise Number 5: When you feel tired God is with you. Mathew 11:28 when we are tired we need to come to God. Psalm 26:1 when you feel at the end of your rope come to God he will give us rest and restore us. God will walk with us we just need to let him. Promise Number 6: okay i guess he never did give promise number 6...


WOW!!! This was sunday mornings service...Okay I wasn't in there becasue I was in with the Kids Church but after service Pastor Al's wife Julie gave me the CD after church. Okay I was jsut like okay thanks. I didn't really think it was gonna apply to me at all becuase well it was Mother's day so I figured okay oh well. But I decided to listen to it. Funny wouldn't you know Pastor Al was like yes it's mothers day and this is directed to them but this applies to EVERYONE. so it kinda caught my interest and i listened more. well WOW!!! It really really helped. It covered many of the areas I'm dealing with and struggling with right now. Funny...I really needed to hear that sermon. Yes I wasn't in there but now I am so glad Julie gave me a copy of the CD. Okay well that's all for now. Many this sermon will help someone else too. Okay that's all until next sudnay...

i can no longer deny what happened...

okay ever since last thursday night when kimmy called me to tell me what happened to toni i just kept denying it...any time i'd think about it i'd just try to think that it never happened...and that what had happened was not real...kimmy and april asked me a couple times in the next few days and i'd always be like yeah i'm fine...but wednesday night was her visitation...some how that made everything real...some how i could no longer deny everything...i was so sad, angry, and other feelings as well maybe...even though no matter how hard i tried i couldn't keep the tears away...and pastor bob kept telling me it's okay to cry and so did kimmy...i don't know...that was the first person that has ever died that i actually cried...then thursday was the funeral...and it was just as hard...some how i knew for sure that it was all real and it wasn't a dream and we wouldn't wake up and find out it was a dream...i still find myself really sad but try not to cry...even though kimmy, pastor bob, pastor mark...say it's okay...but it still makes me feel really bad and worse if i cry...and wow in the past few days i have actually been quite calm and subdued...okay that's all...i just needed to write...

i learned something new!!!

okay...at my youth group in covington we have girls group before youth group...it is pretty cool...well we have been working on reading the whole new testiment...we read one chapter a day...well we have just finished up the book of Revelations...well last night when i was reading i jsut came to realize why the book was written in first person and who was writting it...okay i thought it was Saten writting the book of revelations...okay i'm sure you think boy is that kid stupid...but seriously i thought it was Saten writing it in first person explaining all that he was going to do...but hey would you know...it was John who wrote the book of revelations while he was exiled to the island of patmos nad he was writting what God was reveling what would happen in the future...okay yeha so that is what i learned this week...

it's not fair...i wish he was dead!!!

it was in the accident that killed one of my friends......the stupid guy that casued the accident walked away unharmed......he killed her and left three other people in critical condition....and he didn't get get hurt.......i hate that guy.......i wish he would have died........i hope someone goes out and finds him and kills him......he has NO right to live.......besides that.....after he caused the accident.....he left the scene.......

i just don't understand

i just don't get it...life and God are so unfair...it just makes me so sad and even mad...sometimes i really do believe that God doesn't care what happens to some people...yeah they make not make the smartest decisions ever but yeah...it just seems like some people God takes care of and others he doesn't and doesn't care...i just don't get it...

serious accident...

Andy Wordan, Toni Pritchard and Toni's parents were driving home from a friends. a drunk driver was speeding down the road and rearended the van which i think hit another car. the van rolled several times. Toni was found under the van. Andy has a fractured femur close to the pelvic. a fractured arm, went through the skin and fractured scapula. there is also a small fracture on his ankle. he has a concussion, a bruise on his spleen and lung. Philip has fractured scapula, concussion, seizures and cut on his head. Mary has several fractures on the face, and broken arm and bleeding on the brain. Andy is out of surgery and starting to respond, Mary will be in surgery tomorrow, and Phillip seems to be stable (they have him sedated to help with the pain). Toni didn't make it to the hospital.

please keep all in prayer.

youth group/breakout sessions

well last nite we had our breakout sessions at youth group...it is really fun...we are getting ready to start a series titled "Spring Training"...i think it will be quite fun...expecially with baseball season and all...well we will be learning about unity and working together and all those sort of things...last nite we had a game...we had to make a human peerrahmyid...it was quite fun...but not only that we had to work together and move together because we had to move the peerrahmyid from one side of the room to the other side...it was quite interesting...our group and all the other groups did pretty good...so this will be a cool series i think...all though the nite did kinda start off kinda iffy...becasue i and one other girl kinda got into it...kinda funny we got into it and i got mad and all that...and i was like grrrrrrrrr...and then later on pastor bob was taking about unity and all that stuff and i jsut kinda thought thought about all that for awhile...i did sorta get yelled at and at first i was mad...but now well it okay...becasue if i hadn't been called down for doing it then it would have most likely escallatetid until it got more out of control...but i guess all is well...although i still think those people are still mad at me...but...well grrrrrrr...okay that's all i have to write about for now...

please pray for Karly...

but about 6 hours ago one of my friends from church was out mowing his yard...his 1 1/2 to 2 year old daughter was outside playing... she was outside crawling around and he accidentally ran her over with the lawn mower...from her legs down was under the blades of the mower............


she was rushed to the hospital in Crawfordsville and then was Life Lined to Rily's Childerns Hospital in Indy about 30 minutes later...


she then had surgry...that was a three hours process.......she has lost from her knee down.....


now she will be needing 2 more surgries....probably tomorrow......and then they will determine if more will have to be taken off.....if infection spreads it will be worse....she has also lot a lot of blood....so that makes things even more difficult.......and was the main reason for her first surgry.....


so i post all this to ask you tp please please keep her and her family in your prayers....i'll try to keep this updated as i know more....thaks for praying....


oh yeah..her name is Karly....and her parents names are Travis and Pam Miller....

i'm not sure, really...

I'm not really 100% sure about it all...okay well pastor bob talked about death last nite...but anyways...how can i really be sure of what will happen...yeah i think i'm a christian...but i always wonder it...i jsut never really feel sre about it...i don't know why but i just don't...i know that probably sounds stupid...but i just really don't know...dying always really scares me...okay not when others die but for when i die...several people i know are like it's not bad it a great thing...but i jsut don't have that same peace or whatver...and if it's nt death that scares me it is the rapture...what happens if i do get left behind...i've been reading the book of Revilatesuns and well it's scary...what if i am left behind and not one of the ones that get to be taken in the air when Jesus comes back...i jsut don't don't...well yeah i guess i'm a christian but why do i not really really know for sure or not...

Big House by Audio Adrenaline

Okay well last nights youth service made me think of this song. It was jsut something that my youth pastor had said. I had kinda forgotten about this song. I really like this song. It's rather cool and makes me giggle...

I dont know where you lay your head
Or where you call your home
I dont know where you eat your meals
Or where you talk on the phone
I dont know if you got a cook
A butler or a maid
I dont know if you got a yard
With a hammock in the shade
I dont know if you got some shelter
Say a place to hide
I dont know if you live with friends
In whom you can confide
I dont know if you got a family
Say a mom or dad
I dont know if you feel love at all
But I bet you wish you had

Pre-chorus
Come and go with me
To my fathers house
Come and go with me
To my fathers house

Chorus
Its a big big house
With lots and lots a room
A big big table
With lots and lots of food
A big big yard
Where we can play football
A big big house
Its my fathers house

Ibidibidee bop bop bow whew! yeah!

All I know is a big ole house
With rooms for everyone
All I know is lots a land
Where we can play and run
All I know is you need love
And Ive got a family
All I know is your all alone
So why not come with me?

Pre-chorus
Come and go with me
To my fathers house
Come and go with me
To my fathers house

Chorus
Its a big big house
With lots and lots a room
A big big table
With lots and lots of food
A big big yard
Where we can play football
A big big house
Its my fathers house

Pre-chorus
Come and go with me
To my fathers house
Come and go with me
To my fathers house

Chorus
Its a big big house
With lots and lots a room
A big big table
With lots and lots of food
A big big yard
Where we can play football
A big big house
Its my fathers house

it feels like i'm gonna die...

you ask why does she feel like she's gonna die...well nice of you to ask...so i shall amuse you and tell you...well today at skool they had those big aired up toys you can play on...if you have been to teen camp or convntion this year you know what i'm talking about...well anyways they had a climbing wall that was velcro...i got all the way up but since i'm little i got stuck and couldn't get down...it was had work to get up and then get down...well someone had to pull me down a few times...then they had the thing you just randomly jump in that was fun too...then they had the thing you can fight in to...and the bungy runny thingy too...well i've been playing on the for the last few hours and now i think i'm gonna die cause it is REALLY hard for me to breath and catch my breath...i think i just over did it with playing on them and then also it is quite warm out...so now i actually feel quite icky...yeah so that's what i have done...then i dumped cold water all over my head so i could cool down better...when i get over heated like this i don't cool down on my own...so now after dumping cold water on myself and sitting in air conditioning i'm feeling a little better...but still wish my lungs didn't hurt so much and wish i could breathe better...okay that's all for now...so now you have been enlightened... well.......off to play some more..................................hope i don't die or pass out................................well bye bye everyone..................

just wondering...

why some ppl have ADD or ADHD...then other people are normal...like me and my sis...she's the normal and smart and good one and things like that and so are other friends i know...and well then theres me...i'm completly opposite of my sis...i don't like it...why do i have to be the one stuck with haveing ADHD and take stuff for it...it helps sometimes...okay that's all...

yep I hurt all over...

yeah....i do....my back hurts....the back of my neck hurts....and so does my back.....it happened with the swings yesterday......the chain and ground ended up scraping me up kind bad....now it hurts.....and i'm sad...and then my finger hurts...i got something stuck in my finger too.....and my arm hurts tooo.......grrrrrrrrrr.......

my new t-shirt

my best friend got it for me and gave it to me last nite at youth group......it says "warning: i'm not listening".......yeah that pretty much is me right there (all though i am trying better to what i am told or not told to do)....and then my other few shirts i have.....one says "i'm introuble--again" the other one say "fueled by chocolate", and the other one says "not the brightest crayon in the box" .....yeap those all pretty much explain me......all though i think this one is one of my favorites so far.....i like it.....that's all.....so thanks kimmy....

need directions....

This made my day. Follow my instrucctions and it will make yours.

1. Go to google maps.
2. Get directions from New York, New York to Paris France
3. Read step 23.

my misadventure with the swings...

I hate swings...okay yeah...last nite i was at the church...my youth pastor and i had to go and get my friend ben mott for youth group that nite...well me and ben shelby went with him to go and get ben mott...well on or way we had to stop by a funeral visitation casue it was one of pastor bob's relatives...well it was a long line so ben and i went over to the swings...the funeral was at my old school...so we went over there...well i was jsut swinging nicely...i wasn't doing anything stupid...honestly i wasn't...but the chain the swing was attached to came apart...and i was swinging really really high and then i came crashing down to the ground...it really hurt...but i jsut laughed it off and no biggie...at first i thought i was gonna cry casue really it did hurt but crying in general but then something liek that is jsut stupid so i just laughed it off...i was kinda mad that it happended though...just my luck...how many people have swung on those swings before and that's never happended...but me...i swing on them then yeah...well both ben and pastor bob thought it was funny and laughed...so i jsut laughed with them...something i've jsut learned to do...but yeah i now hate swings...as far as inanimate objects go they are on of my least favorite now...oh well that was my adventure well maybe my misadventure wednesday nite...

just some questions i have...

i guess they sorta of all tie in together...but here are my questions...one in verse 9 chapter 2....verse 11 of chapter 2 too......so u can't be a Christian if u hate ur brother......so then who is ur brother......jsut other christians.......okay new verse......verse 6 of chapter 3 and also verse 9 of chapter 3........so if you continue to sin or maybe messes up doesn't know Jesus..........verse 15 of chapter 3.........so again it goes to say if u hate ur brother you are a murder and no murder has eternal life.......so by be just hateing tha couple guys means i won't have eternal life..........so again is this jsut like brothers that are Christians as well or any person.........okay now verse 8 of chapter 4.........it says if you do not love then you do not know God.........verse 20 chapter 4..........i THINK i do love God......but now i don't know......because there are still at least a couple of people i hate.........i don't know.......i think i'm a Christian but these veses are a litle confusing to me......i read all surounding verse around them.....but still am confused.......i really don't know........in a way these verse scare me.............i want to love God........but don't know if i really do.......i guess in a way it goes back to Love God/Love people..........But i don't know......so if i just hate someone means i'm not a Christian and don't love God..........grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...............and one other question.......is it possible to love others but not love yourself......cause the bible says love your neighbor as ur self......but if you don't love yourself and hate urself can u still love others..........oaky that's all i have for now...........

yeah i think i'm just gonna give up...

okay yeah i was looking at old blogs and i came across this one...i wrote it like four months ago and well yeah...i'm not doing so great with keeping my goals...lets see what they were and how i'm doing with them...
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Well since it is still the begining of the year I am gonna post my goals for this year. Mainly to just help me to remember what they are. Some of them I came up with and the others my best friend came up with. Well here they are...* sometime this year (and the sooner the better) be able to really forgive those who have really hurt me
~ well i guess i am about 25% of the way through on this one still really trying to completly though...but that jsut may never happen...idk...* actually stay on track with my Bible reading and do it DAILY
~ okay well i haven't done such a great job with this one...grrrrrrr...why can't i just stay on track doing my reading...i have done some reading but not consistently like i should be...so there's another one i messed up on... :( :( :( :(* to spend the first part of my mornings in "quiet time" with God
~ well i'm trying to but that is just about as consistent as my bible reading has been...so grrrrrrrrrrr...* try to listen better and not get in as much trouble
~ ok we won't even go there...i'm just a stupid person...* do good at school and not goof off
~ i guess this might be the only one i'm half way have actually done but even then that's kinda doughtful...* when i face problems know that God and my friends are there for me
~ i'm still trying to actually believe that one...that God really is there for me...and yeah...* to not cut myself this year
~ we won't even go here either...grrrrrrrrr......i can be so stupid.....* to learn to accept myself for who God made me to be
~ well i'm still trying to really really believe this......it jsut seems like i can't no matter how hard i try to convince myself...* not be so easily influenced by certain people and not care so much about what others think of me
~ okay far from this one too.....why can't i jsut ignore what others think and say about me....why can't i just ignore and not let it bother me.....* to be nice to those in the animal world
~ hey i think i'm sorta doign a pretty good job with this one...well sorta of....if the geesse at church could talk they my have something to say...but oh well.... ;)* oh and yeah one more to remember to turn off my cell phone during church services
~ well i have forgotten a few times...one time pastor bob told me he was gonna squish my cell phone... :(* Not to run in church
~ won't even go here......again i pretty sure i am the stupidest and dumbest person ever.....i just forget.....really i do.....but oh well........* not to sit on the back of the seats
~ well......yeah......trying to sit right but yeah......still told often times to sit right........* not to put my feet on the seats
~ oaky yeah still working on this one too.......like i said i'm jsut stupid.....* not to scream when something is touching or near me
~ haven't been successful on this one either....* not to scream at all
~ messed this one up........just like last nite at youth group......* to listen the FIRST time i'm told to do something
~ won't even go into this one much.........i do try to listen the first time.....although no one would believe me............but yeah........* not to put others down because they don't know something
~ i guess i might be a little better with this one but proably not.....but since i'm rather stupid probably not....* Lift others (and myself) up when deserved
~ i don't know how i've done with this one...you tell me....

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okay i guess i don't even know why i made this list...i haven't been succesful in any of it really..........oh well......maybe i will just give on on trying to work on all these things.....it'll never happen..........i'm jsut too stupid at times.......oh well......that's all i have to say.......so bye bye........

Book of Ruth...

Okay I was reading my Bible...I was actually reading something other than the required reading...okay but any ways...i was reading the story of Ruth...okay I guess I never really knew the story...I guess I've heard about her name and all and knew she married Boaz but that was about it...so how exactly does Naomi figure in...I guess I thought she was the main one and ended up marring Boaz...but I guess not...so Naomi was the oldest one...so Boaz and Ruth and I guess Naomi were all related...and he still maried Ruth...Well I guess I didn't know there was the Bible character Naomi...Okay so what was the point in Naomi sending Ruth to uncover his feet and lie with him...they weren't even married yet...wouldn't that have been wrong...is that what she was trying to get at...so that would happen and he'd have to marry her...so what did it trigger that caused Boaz to go and talk to the other leaders...and I don't exactly get what he was trying to accomplish with talking to them...if he wanted to marry Ruth well then go ahead...he's an adult...okay so did he marry Ruth or Naomi...who had Obed...I thought it was Ruth but then it say Naomi took the kid and raised him...and the people said Naomi has a son...so who did Boaz marry...or did he get two wives for the 'price of one'...okay yeah...it was rather a cool and interesting story...this was actually the first time I had ever read that book of the Bible...

yep...i'm totally STUPID!!!

ok...yeah...i'm really stupid and dumb...okay you wonder why i think this right now...well after youth group last nite we stoped at IGA cause we were hungry...well we went in and got some food...okay well that in itself wasn't stupid...but i got chicken and noodles...which was good but i also got a strawberry desert thingy in the deli...well stupid me...i thought i looked yummy so i got it...but not thinking it had a whole bunch of wipped cream on it...in the middle of it....every where...okay well i just finished eating it a little while ago....and now i am really sick and feel really icky...i feel about like i do when i eat ice cream, dink milk, or anything else that is dairy or has milk in it....i honestly don't know why i ate it...i wasn't thinking it had milk or dairy in it but...it did....so know you can see why i think i am so stupid....some times i seriously wonder if i have a brain at times...but i'm convinced my one and only brain cell died from loneliness....and that explains a lot....okay that's all i have to say about me and my stupidity...or at least for now....well safe to say i'm not gonna eat that strawberry stuff for quite a long time....now if i stop throwing up and stop feeling sick and stop iching and everything else...i'll be doing great...or at least better....

will things ever...

will life and and things in life ever seem to make sence...and get less confusing...or will life always be confusing and messd up...and why does it seem like God doesn't care about you or things that are going on...will that ever get better too...okay not that the majority of you really care but oh well...sometimes...it jsut helps me to write things going on in my head...it keeps me from doing other things....so yeah...it just seems like sometimes life all crashing down...it's confusing...it messes me up...i don't know what to do or what to say...or even how to help other of my friends...it's wrong to be mad at God i'm sure...and i don't know but he'z probably mad at me for being like that...but i don't know...i'm tired of hating people, holding anger and bitterness and unforgiveness towards people...and i'm tring to work on that...but it all just seems impossible...okay i'll shut up for now...okay that's it...thanks for listening to me just talk well....actually type....

what is Karma......

okay...this isn't really a blog this time of somethings that's happened but one of my friends is into the belief of Karma...so what exactly is it...do any of you know...i sure don't...i want someone to talk to about with this but i don't know who to talk to i mean i don't want them to think i'm stupid....but that might be a know fact all ready...but is Karma...good...bad...is it jsut another segment of Christianity that I haven't heard about...okay that's all i've got right now...well tell me if you know anything...

the wedding at youth group tonite...

Well...here is another blog frome Elyse...This ones gonna be about youth group tonite...Well it was really good tonite...and we also had a wedding...only bad thing was the fact that i had to dress up...but in fact wasn't all that terrible becasue no one once made fun of me...okay but that's besides the point...Well as i said tonite service was a wedding...A guy and a girl (duh...but intodays society you never are quite sure) was gonna get married...So it started out like any other wedding...but a bit after pastor bob had gotten in to it another girl came up and took the soon to be husband's hand and stood by him...his soon to be wife was like who is she...he jsut casually brushed it off as no big deal...it was her he loved now...then it continued...and ever few seconds another girl would come up and take his hand...each time she would get more and more ticked...until finially it was her own sis that had messed around with her soon to be husband...well you can inagin how that went over...the bride ran away (hey that was a good movie). He went after her saying they mean nothing...but she wasn't buying that line...Well then we had snacks and a random little quizy thingy. It was pretty cool...actually learned some new things...Well then we got back together and Pastor Bob talked to us. In all it was really really good...I mean I have never really thought of it that way before...I mean I've heard it before but i don't know...some how it jsut made more sence tonite...but if i want my future husband to be pure and not have have like 50 other girlfriends...then I need to make sure I stay pure and not just randomly give myself to random boys...I mean I don't want my future husband (all though I am kinda doughtful that any guy would want to marry me) giving himself to other girls and I'm sure he wouldn't want me either...So yeah that's jsut something to think about...yeah Pastor Bob talked about a lot of other things as well tonite...and it was all good...okay yeah that's all...it's getting late...I had to take benedryal (that dumb drink and i didn't drink much at all) when I got home so I'm pretty much knocked out as i'm typing...so that's all for now...

Church today......

WOW...yeah today's church service was really awesome...God has really begun to show me a LOT of things...both morning and evening services we're very good...and i enjoyed both of them very much...I even got something out of church today...which usually doesn't happen very often...but then that might be my fault...but anyways back on subject...well this mornings service was titled "24" and this was part 3 of Pastor Al's series...well I ended up missing part one and part two but I think this one was intended for me to hear...well okay wondering why it was titled "24"...well we all have 24 hours in a day and we must decide how we are going to spend it...well this was the first "point" that Pastor Al said and I was like 'gee.........do I really spend my 24 hours wisely?' well Pastor Al said that we need to invest ourselves in eternal things......Loving God/Loving People (this should be the passion of the church)....once we truly love God we will then be able to love people....really personally I think that the second sounds impossible...but I’m beginning to really see if I really do love God then it won't be so hard to love people....now I need to check my life to see if I really love God.....b/c if I don't then it is going to be impossible to love people. We must begin to build bridges in our lives and others live.... NOT walls...and yeah...I have become very good at building walls so I will not get hurt...but well I’ll talk about this a little later. Well Pastor Al gave us three ways to love people... 1. is SERVE PEOPLE....Jesus had the greatest impact b/c he served people. Jesus lived a life of counter-culture. We must model our lives after Jesus and it starts with serving...In today’s world serving is a foreign idea.... but when we do people will turn their heads and then turn their hearts.... Serving may be hard at times but it will be worth it...How can we serve? ~ We need to look for the little needs.... ~look for the physical needs in people’s lives.... ~look for financial ways to meet needs even if it may seem small.... I’m pretty sure I need to work more on serving others this was the first thing that really stood out to me...okay on to number 2...we must share with people...I need to invest my life in sharing Jesus with others...This is not only and investment but it is a command...God doesn't need us to know all the answers but just to be a witness for him...some practical ways to share Jesus...~look for ways to share my own story...(although I do wonder how mine can help.... I don't even know)...~look for 'divine appointments’...~now for number 3.... step along side people...it is the Great Commission NOT the Great Suggestion...we have to help people grow...we have to be a part of the discipleship process.... It’s not enough to just bring people to Christ we must help them grow.... But we ourselves have to be growing...(I think this ones hard for me...cause half the time it seems like I’m at a stand still and not growing...but if I’m not moving forward I’m going backwards.... so I don't know)...ways to step alongside people...~be willing to slow down and take time with people...~accept the challenges of discipleship...~let people in your life (okay this one really caught my attention.... casue I really don't like to do that one.... I’m too afraid I’ll get hurt.... but pastor Al said...yes you may get hurt but then in the long run it will be worth it...~make sure your growing (yep this one is just as hard too)...~make sure you are not alone...get an accountability partner...so yea in all this was a very good message...and yeah...if I am actually able to put it into action in my life...well that would totally rock...but I think before I can even do any of this i must determine if I really truly love God...cause when I know I do.....then loving people won't seem as impossible......okay well that was Sunday morning.......I might post more later.....but yeah church was really awesome today.....I loved it........Thanks Pastor Al.........can’t wait for the coming series of sermons.......and cant wait till you do the one for Facing your Giants.......I’m sure it will be very good.....

Alien Abduction---Part 2

I was driving down the road one day when all of a sudden I saw a huge spacecraft land right in front of my car. It was blocking the road ahead of me. I wasn't able to drive around it. My car came to a complete stop. I was very amazed and a little scared. Well wouldn't you be if this happened to you??? Well this funny looking "creature" emerged from his spacecraft carrying with him a very large funny shaped object. His appearance was quite frightening to me. Here's what I saw when he stepped out of his spacecraft. He had seven heads and ten horns and on each horn he had ten crowns. He looked like part leopard, part lion, and even part bear. And then from behind him another "creature" appeared, but I wasn't able to get a good look at him. Well they both came walking over to me in my little car and told the first "creature" told me I had two choices, but first he needed to tell me his problem and that he and his planet was in need of my help. Yikes!!! I thought...these guys /creatures or whatever they are sure is whacked! But I agreed to listen to his plight. I mean what else choice did he leave me? Well here's what he told me. "I and my group of people live on the planet called 'The Beast' we are in dire situation and only you can help us. But you must come with me immediately." I told him what exactly do you think I can do to help you and your people? How did you find me and why pick me for this job? I began wondering if it was any coincident of his appearance and that his planet was called 'The Beast.' Part 2I was like hold up, wait a minute will you. So you’re telling me that you guys are in need of MY help? So are you guys the leaders or like the ambassadors for your country? He went on to say...no our master/leader sent us on this mission to bring you back to help us. I asked them so who is your master and what’s he like? He told me that he wasn’t able to tell me too much I’d find out in due time...but he did tell me that he had 6 heads, 6 arms, and 6 legs. Okay by now I was pretty much freaked...wouldn’t you be? I listened as they began telling me more.

Alien Abduction

Okay this is a completely fictional story...it is written in first person but yeah...i just have random stories running though my little head...this is the first one that is this random and silly...but have fun reading...


I was driving down the road one day when all of a sudden I saw a huge spacecraft land right in front of my car. It was blocking the road ahead of me. I wasn't able to drive around it. My car came to a complete stop. I was very amazed and a little scared. Well wouldn't you be if this happened to you??? Well this funny looking "creature" emerged from his spacecraft carrying with him a very large funny shaped object. His appearance was quite frightening to me. Here's what I saw when he stepped out of his spacecraft. He had seven heads and ten horns and on each horn he had ten crowns. He looked like part leopard, part lion, and even part bear. And then from behind him another "creature" appeared, but I wasn't able to get a good look at him. Well they both came walking over to me in my little car and told the first "creature" told me I had two choices, but first he needed to tell me his problem and that he and his planet was in need of my help. Yikes!!! I thought...these guys /creatures or whatever they are sure is whacked! But I agreed to listen to his plight. I mean what else choice did he leave me? Well here's what he told me. "I and my group of people live on the planet called 'The Beast' we are in dire situation and only you can help us. But you must come with me immediately." I told him what exactly do you think I can do to help you and your people? How did you find me and why pick me for this job? I began wondering if it was any coincident of his appearance and that his planet was called 'The Beast.'

Okay that's all i have for now...keep checking back for more to this story...if i write more in the same day it will just be added to here...but if i add more to it in the following days it will be in a new post but with the older part of the story attached...well tell me what you think of my random story...

the word Christian

ever forget how to spell the word 'Christian' at times??? well in general i have bunches of trouble spelling so hints i get i like them expecially when i had spelling. well this is how i remember to spell this word.

start with just spelling the word -Christ- and then the last three letters 'i' -- 'a' -- 'n' i am nothing


kinda cool isn't it???

Why Does God Allow Bad Things to Happen???

Okay why am I writing this as a blog??? Well honestly I don't really know why I am...but it has been a question that I have thought about for quite some time. But really why does God allow bad things to happen in the world??? Okay I know kinda why God allows us, as Christians, to go through tough times and that is to help us and to grow us and help us to become more like him more or less. But why does God allow bad things in the world to happen??? To me it seems like if God really truely did care then he wouldn't let things like that happen. But he does...why??? Is it casue he only cares about certain people and since he is God he all ready knows who will go to heaven or not??? I mean like will a the war and killing and all that junk why does God want it to happen??? Doesn't God care what happens to people??? It seems like he cares sometimes but then not other times??? Like with 9-11 there was a bunch of lives lost and if that other airplane and not been tried to be stopped then a whole bunch more people could have died...but God didn't let that happen, why??? Okay well maybe I'm jsut a confused little person but that's nothing new...I mean it seems to me if God really cared then he wouldn't let bad stuff happen...casue well when that happens that just makes you really doubt that there is a God...or at least for me it does. Okay I know that is probably wrong but it's true at least for me it is sometimes. And even when I face trying times in my own life...sometimes I wonder if God really does care...I mean sure he cares about some people I can see that but then other well it just seems like everything is crashing down in their lives. I know it and overwhelming and frustrating feeling...okay well that's all I have for now. So yeah my basic question was why does God allow bad things to happen? And also it seems like the wrong in the wrong (big or little) in life goes undectected and nothing ever happens. But it seems like if we do something everyone jumps on us for it. Okay that's jsut my thoughts going on in my little head for today...

2 Corinthians 12:7-10

7To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.



Okay this is the chapter in my Bible that I read for today...I found it kinda interesting...Okay well I'm not 100% sure what the word 'conceited' means but I think it might mean 'to keep me from being proud' i don't know really but that's what I'm thinking...well God wants to keep us from being too proud and thinking to highly of ourselves so he allows Saten to bother and bug us...even though we may pray and ask God to take it away becasue we do not think that we can handle what Saten may throw at us we should know that we can casue in 1 Corinthians 10:13-God tells us that we won't face and temptation that we can not bear and that he will always give us a way of escape...and now back to my orginal verse i started with it goes on to say that God's grace is all we need and that in our weakness God's power will be strong...that is jsut like totally cool...or at least I think so...and when "storms" in our life come we need to be glad and be okay with it casue God is being made stong and known to others and it will help us to grow...Okay that's jsut my thoughts...don't know if they make any sence or are even close to being right but hey that's just what is going though that little head of mine....

i think...my life and pryorittees are mess up

okay i've been thinking about tonites youth group service...well i have been sorta thinking about this since sunday morning....but i think well i know my life is sorta messed up....but now i am begining to think that also my pryorittees are just as messed up...why do i say this....well becasue in a way i put a lot of things before God, before devotions, and prayer....I find it pretty challenging to have to sit and read my Bible for probably less than 30 mins and well prayer time that's kinda when i remember to do it...:( i know that's not the greatest thing....but then i can find my self spending 8 or 9 hours or more on the computer and well 4 or more hours playing video games... than in it self it kinda amazing when i actually stop to think about it....and those times when i find it hard to concentrate and read my Bible...well my mind can find and think of TONS of ways to seek revenge and ways to hurts those who have hurt me....i don't know why this is so easy but then so hard for me to take time and read my Bible but I guess for some reason that's just me...Why do i spend so much time on the internet/computer and video games....well I guess that is just a way that i ahve learned to "block" out the world...does it help....i don't know....but it's a way i can sorta avoid people...well at least in contact....and I can just sorta be by myself....casue usually when i am i don't get hurt.....unless i do it to myself and that's a differnet topic....okay well yeah not that too many of you really care about all this but yeah....sometimes i think that people were jsut ment to hurt you and not be able to ever trust....well okay that's not entirely true....there are a few peopel in my life that are for me no matter what and that they love me and are always there for me....but sometimes that's still hard casue well out of peopel i know those that i can really trust is only a very small percentage...maybe then again i jsut don't give people enough credit...but that is really hard to do when some people set out to hurt you....and then you sorta start just distrusting everyone.....okay well that's all i have for now...

Leviticus 19:31

All right. Okay well something has facinated me for awhile now. And it is like what you can do though medium, fortune-tellers, ghosts, witches, ect. I don't know why this sorta interests me but it does. And this has increased since I have become friends with a couple of girls I know. Okay well several months ago I thought it would be sorta cool to get caught up in this type of stuff. And then after talking to my best friend I kinda sorta saw how it was bad. Well anyways within the past few weeks or months I have begun wondering about it again. Sorta thinking if I only get messed up with it for good well then I'm okay. Well at first I was like NOOOOOOOO!!!! It is just wrong no matter what. Well after talking to my friends more I began thinking well it can't hurt that much if at all really if we jsut use it for fun and for good purposes. Well I talked to a couple of people that I know and that I look up to. Well they told me TO STAY AWAY FROM IT!!!!!! And to not go to her house and well things like that. I don't know I was still sorta and still kinda confused by it all. I have come to learn what God thinks about this all but then as I have looked into it more when God talks about it the people were using it for bad and for there own personal use. So yeah that is wrong but if you are jsut having fun is that still wrong as well??? I don't really know. But anyways I'm posting this blog cause well this has all been very confusing for me and I really don't know what to do or even what to say to my friend. Okay but then I was at the library yesterday and I checked out this book. They are in the "Wally McDoogle Series" and this particular one was called "My Life as a Haunted Hambuger , Hold the Pickles" well I hadn't thought too much about what the book would be about I just knew I loved reading this series. Well I then got home and began reading what the book was about. You know that nice little part on the back that is put there for you to write a book report??? Okay well as I was reading it it tells you about the book and then It say through out the story Wally McDoogle will learn about what God really has to say about medium, ghosts, witches, and things like this even if others use it for good or bad purposes. Well I was like WOW, interesting. ANd a few days before I have prayed and asked God to really show me if this is all really really all that wrong if we would jsut do it for fun. So yeah I thought it was kinda interesting and so yeah thought I'd tell some of you.

My Goals for the Year 2007

Well since it is still the begining of the year I am gonna post my goals for this year. Mainly to just help me to remember what they are. Some of them I came up with and the others my best friend came up with. Well here they are...

* sometime this year (and the sooner the better) be able to really forgive those who have really hurt me

* actually stay on track with my Bible reading and do it DAILY

* to spend the first part of my mornings in "quiet time" with God

* try to listen better and not get in as much trouble

* do good at school and not goof off

* when i face problems know that God and my friends are there for me

* to not cut myself this year

* to learn to accept myself for who God made me to be

* not be so easily influenced by certain people and not care so much about what others think of me

* to be nice to those in the animal world

* oh and yeah one more to remember to turn off my cell phone during church services

* Not to run in church

* not to sit on the back of the seats

* not to put my feet on the seats

* not to scream when something is touching or near me

* not to scream at all

* to listen the FIRST time i'm told to do something

* not to put others down because they don't know something

* Lift others (and myself) up when deserved

MySpace

Okay for all of you who care to know I also have myspace. Sometimes I will post the same blog on both here and on my blog on myspace. But for the most part I will do the majority of my blogging on here. So keep checking it out often for new things from me. I will be using this blog to post my random thoughts, some of my writings and poems, what is going on in my life, what I am learning from God in my devotions with him, and this is jsut a little of what I'll probably really end up blogging about. I tend to be a very random person so anything can happen. Well have fun reading and lookig at pictures. I am going to try to blog something daily but if not that then a few times a week at least.